El from Agent Spitback has written Tots100 a fable, the story has been recreated for Bloggers and it is quite frankly brilliant and echoes our sentiments about blogging. El is a very funny writer who writes in many genres, El was recently one of our nine funny bloggers and her posts often have us giggling. Do let El know what you think by following her on twitter @AgentSpitback and over on Facebook.
You have decided to join the blogging race. You have bought your domain name, paid for your hosting, chosen your first blog template and have written your first post. You expect your first post to be a viral hit but it does not happen and then you write your second, then your third, and then pretty soon you realize that blogging is very much like running a full 40km hard core Ironman endurance race and the goal post keeps changing and moving further, so you need to ask yourself if you can ever win it?
Come now, gather at my knees as every mother’s advice begins with a short story. Are you ready for an Agent Spitback fable? Please turn off your phone and shut down the twitter page and huddle in close.
Once upon a time, there was Mother Hare who started a blog called “999 Leverets’ Mum” three days ago. She was excited that she had posted her first Facepoop post the day before about the amount of poo 999 Leverets would make, watched it go viral and made her one of the most talked about Mother bloggers of all time.
On the other side of the suburb, was Tortoise Mom who had two hatchlings who were still living at home after 50 years. She had been writing the blog “Slow Mumma” for 48 years, in slow desperation on how to make her hatchlings move out for the last 49 years now.
One morning, Mother Hare was as usual waxing lyrical about her amazing Mothering skills that she managed to put all 999 little leverets to bed by 7.30pm, write a blog post about it that was shared 3012 times, picked up by Poopington Post and went viral AGAIN on FacePoop for four hours straight!
Mother Tortoise then blurted out, “Mother Hare, I challenge you to a Mother of all blogging races once and for all and let’s see who wins!”
Mother Hare laughed so loudly that she startled the elderly Lemurs who were sitting close by.
“You? YOU challenge me to a blogging race? YOU?” Mother Hare shook her head and laughed so hard that she actually fell on the floor and her bunny ears started twitching violently, “OK!”
They both then signed a little race agreement where Mother Hare, in her usual haste, simply skimmed and signed with a flourish while Mother Tortoise was still reading the second clause.
“HAH! You’re so slow! How do you even think you can beat me?” Mother Hare laughed.
At 10am on the morning of the blogging race, Mother Hare had already finished her post, twittered, face booked, instagrammed, pinned and googled plused it while Mother Tortoise was still writing her first paragraph.
“Just look at you! I have already had 52, 021 facebook shares, 1223 RTs and 897 comments and YOU? You’re still WRITING the second line of your introduction!” Mother Hare snickered, “I think I’ll take a break and have some cake!”
So Mother Hare put her feet up and had some chocolate and wine and then promptly went to sleep.
The day passed and all of a sudden, there was a loud cheering noise, which woke Mother Hare up with a start to see Mother Tortoise being congratulated by her friends.
“What do you mean she won? How could she have beaten me? What are your numbers? Quickly show me your shares, likes, RTs!” Mother Hare demanded, “I definitely would have had 5050 views more than you!”
“Numbers? What numbers?” asked Mother Tortoise.
“Your page views, your shares, your RTs of course!”
“Who ever said winning the blogging race was about numbers?”
“WHAT? Of course, winning the Mother of All Blogging Races is about numbers!”
“Does it? Here, read this, Mother Hare, no not there, here, the fine print of the blogging contract.”
“The winner of the Mother of All Blogging Races will be declared if the blogger has reached her goal by her own effort….” Said Mother Hare.
“See! So my goal for today was to finish that post which I did. My goal for my blog has always been making my hatchlings move out and making new friends. After I hit the publish button, immediately, all my 52 blogging friends who knew about this immediately helped share my post and I made 3 more new blogging friends today. So I did win, Mother Hare, so I did.”
The moral of this Agent Spitback fable is if you want to win at this blogging game, you should never use someone else’s definition of winning as your measure of success.
Set your own goals and blog at your own pace. Do not get detracted by the pounding noise of other people’s racing and you will get there when you get there. You are not any less of a success just because someone else has more views or readers. The value of you as a blogger should not be dependent on someone’s success, only your own.
In Mother Tortoise’s case, it was a double win for her as her hatchlings decided to move out immediately, which in Tortoise years, meant 5 years and Mother Tortoise celebrated by creating a new blog called “How to Win the Mother of All Blogging Wars by never forgetting the sound of your own unique blogging voice.”
Don’t try to be someone else. Be yourself. Be you.