How do you win the Mother of All Blogging Races?



El from Agent Spitback has written Tots100 a fable, the story has been recreated for Bloggers and it is quite frankly brilliant and echoes our sentiments about blogging.  El is a very funny writer who writes in many genres, El was recently one of our nine funny bloggers and her posts often have us giggling.  Do let El know what you think by following her on twitter  @AgentSpitback and over on Facebook.

You have decided to join the blogging race. You have bought your domain name, paid for your hosting, chosen your first blog template and have  written your first post. You expect your first post to be a viral hit but it does not happen and then you write your second, then your third, and then pretty soon you realize that blogging is very much like running a full 40km hard core Ironman endurance race and the goal post keeps changing and moving further, so you need to ask yourself if you can ever win it?

Come now, gather at my knees as every mother’s advice begins with a short story. Are you ready for an Agent Spitback fable? Please turn off your phone and shut down the twitter page and huddle in close.

Once upon a time, there was Mother Hare who started a blog called “999 Leverets’ Mum” three days ago. She was excited that she had posted her first Facepoop post the day before about the amount of poo 999 Leverets would make, watched it go viral and made her one of the most talked about Mother bloggers of all time.

On the other side of the suburb, was Tortoise Mom who had two hatchlings who were still living at home after 50 years. She had been writing the blog “Slow Mumma” for 48 years, in slow desperation on how to make her hatchlings move out for the last 49 years now.

One morning, Mother Hare was as usual waxing lyrical about her amazing Mothering skills that she managed to put all 999 little leverets to bed by 7.30pm, write a blog post about it that was shared 3012 times, picked up by Poopington Post and went viral AGAIN on FacePoop for four hours straight!

Mother Tortoise then blurted out, “Mother Hare, I challenge you to a Mother of all blogging races once and for all and let’s see who wins!”

Mother Hare laughed so loudly that she startled the elderly Lemurs who were sitting close by.

“You? YOU challenge me to a blogging race? YOU?” Mother Hare shook her head and laughed so hard that she actually fell on the floor and her bunny ears started twitching violently, “OK!”

They both then signed a little race agreement where Mother Hare, in her usual haste, simply skimmed and signed with a flourish while Mother Tortoise was still reading the second clause.

“HAH! You’re so slow! How do you even think you can beat me?” Mother Hare laughed.

At 10am on the morning of the blogging race, Mother Hare had already finished her post, twittered, face booked, instagrammed, pinned and googled plused it while Mother Tortoise was still writing her first paragraph.

“Just look at you! I have already had 52, 021 facebook shares, 1223 RTs and 897 comments and YOU? You’re still WRITING the second line of your  introduction!” Mother Hare snickered, “I think I’ll take a break and have some cake!”

So Mother Hare put her feet up and had some chocolate and wine and then promptly went to sleep.

The day passed and all of a sudden, there was a loud cheering noise, which woke Mother Hare up with a start to see Mother Tortoise being congratulated by her friends.

“What do you mean she won? How could she have beaten me? What are your numbers? Quickly show me your shares, likes, RTs!” Mother Hare demanded, “I definitely would have had 5050 views more than you!”

“Numbers? What numbers?” asked Mother Tortoise.

“Your page views, your shares, your RTs of course!”

“Who ever said winning the blogging race was about numbers?”

“WHAT? Of course, winning the Mother of All Blogging Races is about numbers!”

“Does it? Here, read this, Mother Hare, no not there, here, the fine print of the blogging contract.”

“The winner of the Mother of All Blogging Races will be declared if the blogger has reached her goal by her own effort….” Said Mother Hare.

“See! So my goal for today was to finish that post which I did. My goal for my blog has always been making my hatchlings move out and making new friends. After I hit the publish button, immediately, all my 52 blogging friends who knew about this immediately helped share my post and I made 3 more new blogging friends today. So I did win, Mother Hare, so I did.”

The moral of this Agent Spitback fable is if you want to win at this blogging game, you should never use someone else’s definition of winning as your measure of success.

Set your own goals and blog at your own pace. Do not get detracted by the pounding noise of other people’s racing and you will get there when you get there. You are not any less of a success just because someone else has more views or readers. The value of you as a blogger should not be dependent on someone’s success, only your own.

In Mother Tortoise’s case, it was a double win for her as her hatchlings decided to move out immediately, which in Tortoise years, meant 5 years and Mother Tortoise celebrated by creating a new blog called “How to Win the Mother of All Blogging Wars by never forgetting the sound of your own unique blogging voice.”

Don’t try to be someone else. Be yourself. Be you.

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Every day of the week, Good Reads brings you the best and brightest content from Tots100, the UK parent blog network. Our community of more than 7,500 parent bloggers have a combined monthly audience of more than 10m readers, writing about everything from parenting to politics, food and fashion.

Discussion20 Comments

  1. This is a wonderful angle and so brilliantly delivered. I’ve been thinking about the hare and the tortoise a lot lately when it comes to blogging so it was particularly lovely to read about them both here! I like that both have the potential to ‘win’ though – the hare will win if she works out exactly what it important to her and measures herself against that, just like the tortoise did. Brilliant, brilliant, love it. And Poopington Post has to stick…!?

    • Thank you, Lucy. Glad you enjoyed the story. When I was thinking of what blogging meant to me, this story just jumped at me but I knew as I wrote, that the ending would not be like what most would assume it would be. Everyone can win.

  2. This is a great post – I really enjoy anything by Agent Spitback!

    Everyone is different!

    Lucy xx


  3. Oh I love this! At times I think we forget why we started blogging in the first place. We all started for our own individual and unique reasons and we need to rememeber that. I love this because it reminds us of that and also the importance of not comparing ourselves to others. We blogged to be heard, not to be compared. 🙂 xx

  4. I loved this! It is so eas you to get caught up in comparing yourself to others and joining the race while forgetting why you started blogging in the first place. #TribalLove

  5. This is brilliant – I had been sucked into the numbers race recently and then this week I just sat back and thought about my blog and decided that as much I would like it to be a roaring success and virally magnificent that’s not why I started it! I took a step back and relaxed, and you know what I feel so much better for it! Thanks for reminding all of us that we can be winners by achieving our own personal goals, not everyone else’s!

  6. I love this post so much I will be bookmarking it to refer back to every time I feel like I’m drowning in comparisons. It’s so easy to loose perspective because of course we want to do well and we want people to read and engage with our posts but sometimes that is not enough and I, in particular, find myself obsessing about my stats when really my blog has already gone way further than I could ever expext it to. This post has reminded me of the reason I started to blog in the first place and it was certainly not for the numbers. Thank you for reminding me.

  7. Oh why does this post make me feel emotional? I’ve said to a few others lately that we need to remember why we started blogging – what made me decide to blog? What was my passion? Everyone’s goals are different and so they should be but there’s a common theme running throughout which is a love for words but somehow they lose the focus too often. El, I adore your words and everything that you write – it’s about the story you tell, the love you give and the fact that you care which comes across so beautifully every single time (even when you’re being funny) – the underlying message is clear – I would still be your biggest fan if you wrote once a month or 55 times a week – volume doesn’t matter – quality my lovely and striking that chord does. Sorry I could go on and on but I’ll stop now. Brilliant, brilliant post xx

  8. Ah very inspiring! And greatly written. As a very new blogger, it would be easy to get carried away, comparing myself to all the other fantastic bloggers, but this is a good reminder as to why I’m doing it…for my own (and then hopefully others’) enjoyment!x

  9. Amazing! Wise blogger that tortoise, and another instant classic by El. I honestly think that she needs to rewrite all of the children’s classics for today’s world. Honest, wise and very funny as always. X

  10. Love it. So good to have used the Fable the Tortoise and the Hare by La Fontaine. #French fable that reminds us that the run is nothing ; we must timely start.
    Thanks for getting me back to my frenchie childhood x

  11. What a brilliant piece! As always! And I totally agree. Sometimes we need to take a step back and realize the original reason why we started blogging in the first place. I will admit to being on stat highs from time to time but I don’t let it consume me as much as I used to. I’ve learned to let go of feeling stressed about blogging.

  12. Fabulous post, great point and brilliantly written. It’s put into words a feeling that I was finding really hard to explain, even to myself. Sometimes I’ll look at someone else who is doing lots of reviews or sponsored posts and feel bad that I’m not getting offered lots of them too, but then I remember that I don’t even want to do them because that’s not what I’m blogging for anyway. It’s too easy in this online world to get distracted by what’s going on around you and loose sight of your own personal goal, whatever that is.

  13. El, you’ve done yourself proud once again. Mother Tortoise had it right, and Mother Hare could learn a lot, if only she’d listen (really listen). Life is too short to spend it competing with others and the only goals we should aim for are the ones we set for ourselves.


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