I love Martha Stewart, I’ve been buying her magazines for years. I even stuck with her through the whole prison thing.
I’ve been known to reorganise my craft drawer after reading one of her articles and get up ridiculously early to put buns in the oven “because there’s nothing like freshly baked cinnamon rolls on a Sunday morning”. But even I, Martha fan that I am, spat out my tea when I read about baby Jude’s first birthday.
For those of you who don’t slavishly follow Martha’s every move, Jude is her first granddaughter, child of her daughter Alexis. Martha organised Jude’s party at a “pretty and modern eatery“. It was chosen for its “simple, elegant architecture“, which I’m sure Jude appreciated enormously.
The decor was undeniably charming and understated, with dozens of stuffed Steiff animals arranged down the centre of the long dining table and floating clear and white balloons; I’d expect nothing less from Martha.
The dessert table was set up as a focal point, with three cakes decorated with hand made marzipan animals under glass domes, more Steiff toys and individually boxed animal sugar cookies.
The birthday girl herself was dressed in a beige silky skirt and a specially designed, soft cashmere “candy coat“. Let’s just stop there for a moment. Who seriously dresses a 12 month old child in cashmere and silky stuff when they’re eating? I’d hazard a guess that it’s someone who doesn’t do their own laundry.
And speaking of eating, the menu featured “asparagus with mesclun, enoki mushrooms, avocado and black-truffle vinaigrette”. Now I like to think that my children are quite good eaters, not too fussy, will at least try something before declaring it disgusting.
But I can absolutely guarantee that if I presented them with asparagus and mesclun – which I’m almost sure is a type of salad – they’d take a pretty dim view of it. Especially on their birthday.
It all sounds perfectly charming and delightfully whimsical.
But c’mon Martha, whatever happened to jam sandwiches, party rings and a slightly wonky chocolate cake decorated with smarties?