[Shared by The ramblings of a rock'n'roll mum]
We all have to learn to share. It doesn’t come naturally, and as children we learn how to do it. Doesn’t mean we always like it tho, even as grown ups. I, for example, loathe sharing chocolate. Especially with children. I hide it and eat it out of sight.
I will tell you what I am excellent at sharing – my 9 year old son. His Dad and I share residency, he literally lives half the week with me and half with his Dad. I am VERY grown-up about this I don’t quibble if it seems someone has got a bigger slice of the cake in a week, I know things balance over time. It is a very civilised arrangement, and on the whole it works well.
That doesn’t mean I like it tho. Two things happened over the last couple of weeks that reminded me quite how much I don’t like it.
Firstly his Dad went on holiday for a week, meaning that I had Max to myself for 8 days straight. It was harder work having 3 children the whole time, and doing all the school runs certainly kept me busy, but I loved my family being complete the whole time. When the end of last week came around and he was no longer here straight from school, the days felt very long and I missed him.
Then at the weekend it was his birthday. He woke up here and we had a smashing morning of cakes and presents with our family and grandparents. But then at lunchtime his Dad came to pick him up, and whisk him, complete with the head of the Rabbid cake, off ringo-ing with his friends and then back to his other house for more presents and party tea. Max had a great day spending time with everyone important to him. I found the rest of the day after he went a bit sad and hollow.
On the whole it works well. Max seems happy to have two homes. As two parents who BOTH wanted to be at the parenting coal face, but just not together, it is the best solution for now.
And I am good at being grown up. I rarely let on to anyone that there are times I find it hard, or upsetting. After all, as the adults it is up to us to shoulder the complications brought about by our relationship break downs, and I am proud that we seem to be doing a good job, and that Max is happy. But sometimes, on the inside, I am still a tearful, tantrumming child who really doesn’t want to share,
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