Flea Enterprises


This weekend saw the second Tots100 Christmas party, with 35 bloggers and their families meeting up at Butlins Bognor Regis for a Festive Weekend.  Thanks to everyone who came along and for those who couldn’t make it, never fear – here’s your chance to find out what you missed AND get your hands on a fabulous Christmas hamper!

If you’ve never visited a Butlins resort  before, it’s about as far from Hi-De-Hi as you can get – the rooms in both the Ocean and Shoreline Hotels are spacious, funky and come with all mod cons, and there’s a fabulous spa at the Ocean hotel if you get a spare hour or two.

Many of the bloggers arrived on Friday evening, after driving down in cars kindly loaned by Kia UK. This meant there was loads of time to enjoy the various activities and entertainments, before meeting up on Saturday afternoon for a spot of competitive Christmas Tree decorating. Four teams of bloggers were challenged to use the available decorations, accessories and wrapping materials to create a magical tableaux.


We were lucky enough to be loaned some absolutely gorgeous decorations and accessories by Bollywood Christmas and Hallmark UK, which made all the trees look a bit special.

For a moment there, it did all get a bit Lord of the Flies, with women frantically trying to rip Christmas tree lights off Butlins’ own displays, but it all went (reasonably) peacefully, with the help of a small mountain of mince pies, and our teams created some festive magic. Although I’m not sure what my daughter made of her Dalmatian soft toy being transformed into a reindeer in a fairy skirt, and being put on top of a tree. “They did put him back to normal, right?” she asked me last night.

The winning team was led by Vic from The Shoe Blogger, who went with a traditional look, with a face made out of crackers and strings of fresh cranberries on their tree. For their efforts, the ladies all won a Christmas hamper courtesy of Aldi, filled with festive treats and gorgeousness.

In the evening we met at Bar Rosso for Christmas cocktails before heading into Turners for a fabulous Christmas dinner. Keeping 34 slightly tipsy Mummy bloggers (and one Dad blogger) happy is no easy feat, but the food was all delicious and hot, and the wine free-flowing.

After dinner, some of the bloggers went off in search of dancing at the resort nightclub (read more about THAT part of the evening over here) while others headed back to the hotel bars.

What’s always fun about these events is putting names to faces, and meeting bloggers who you’ve previously only imagined in their Twitter avatar form – there are far too many people to mention but it was brilliant to meet everyone, and catch up with some old friends, too.

One thing worth noting if you’re going to visit Butlins is that there is free, fast WiFi across most of the resort (hurrah!) but it is completely open with no password or ID needed – so the content filtering is quite strict – and you can only access Twitter via third-party apps. This is my excuse for forgetting to Tweet for the whole weekend!

Actually, the filtering is a great bonus if you’re with kids, since you can let them safely play on the Internet without worrying what they’ll access, but I should point out that around a quarter of the bloggers attending the party are deemed potentially unethical OR illegal by the security software on Butlins network. I’m less surprised by that than I should be, frankly.

Special thanks to Nova, Lindy and Ruth for all their assistance in setting up for the event on the day – it was hugely appreciated!

If you couldn’t make the Tots100 Xmas party, then don’t be downcast. You can see photos from the event on our Facebook page, and our friends at Aldi have given us four bumper Christmas hampers to give away to bloggers, just in time for the festive season.

How to Enter:

All you have to do to be in with a chance of getting a hamper is to tell us the BEST joke you ever found in a cracker before 5pm this Friday. The ones that make us laugh (or groan) the most will be given a hamper for their efforts. Please note, you must be a Tots100 registered blogger to take part in this giveaway.  We’ll announce the winners on this page on Friday, December 16th. 


Sally Whittle is founder of the Tots100, Foodies100, BlogSummit and the MAD Blog Awards. When she’s not working, she can be found blogging at Who’s the Mummy, or having fun with her 8 year old daughter, Flea.


  1. Posted 12 December 2011 at 9:49 am | Permalink

    I’ve had so many great jokes in Christmas crackers. I think my favourite will always be the one I got my first year in the UK. I totally didn’t understand it at first since I’m foreign and thick. But once it was explained, I luffed it! ;)

    Q. What kind of animal is furry and minty?
    A. A Polo Bear

    The WORST joke I ever got is one that my ex-husband STILL tells to this day. It is NOT funny and it doesn’t even make sense, but it’s his go-to joke at all times.

    Q. What’s green and hurts if it falls on you out of a tree?
    A. A golf course.


    • Ross
      Posted 12 December 2011 at 11:20 am | Permalink

      That’s a LIE… an outrageous LIE… that’s my SECOND favourite joke. My favourite is;

      “How do you make a dog drink?

      Put it in the blender”


  2. Posted 12 December 2011 at 10:04 am | Permalink

    My favourite cracker joke (from years ago) is:

    How do you know if an elephant has been at the trifle in the fridge?

    Footprints in the custard!

    (groan, I know, I know – just remember, I didn’t write it)

    My brother used to always back this joke up with ….

    How do you know there’s an elephant in your house over Christmas?

    Bloody big holes in the skirting boards!

  3. Posted 12 December 2011 at 10:05 am | Permalink

    Looks like you all had a fantastic time! Wish I could have been there!

    Loving the Bollywood Christmas site, a great find…thanks for that!

  4. Posted 12 December 2011 at 10:05 am | Permalink

    What disasters could happen if you dropped the Christmas turkey ?

    The downfall of Turkey, the breakup of China and the overthrow of Greece!

  5. Posted 12 December 2011 at 10:07 am | Permalink

    My favourite just has to be:

    What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
    A Christmas Quacker!

  6. vicky morton
    Posted 12 December 2011 at 10:48 am | Permalink

    Whats the biggest type of ant?
    An elephant!

  7. Posted 12 December 2011 at 11:35 am | Permalink

    Oh, I loved my cracker joke last year!

    What do you get if you eat too many Christmas decorations?

  8. Posted 12 December 2011 at 11:38 am | Permalink

    My absolute favourite cracker joke is:

    What’s brown and sticky?

    A Stick.

    I still chuckle hehe!

  9. Posted 12 December 2011 at 1:20 pm | Permalink

    my 10 year old son who is disabled said this to his dad

    Thomas “dad tell me a Joke”

    Dad “knock knock”
    Thomas oh no you have broke the door!

    made me chuckle

  10. Posted 12 December 2011 at 1:21 pm | Permalink

    A man speaks frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”

    “Is this her first child?” the doctor queries.

    “No, you idiot!” the man shouts. “This is her *husband*”

  11. Posted 12 December 2011 at 1:22 pm | Permalink

    How do you tease fruit?


  12. Posted 12 December 2011 at 1:26 pm | Permalink

    last 1 my daughter told me last night

    Whats black, and white and red all over

    A sunburnt penguin

    I got cocky and said newspaper

  13. Posted 12 December 2011 at 2:06 pm | Permalink

    Why was Santa’s little helper feeling depressed?

    He had low elf-esteem

  14. Posted 12 December 2011 at 2:39 pm | Permalink

    What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts? Annette!

  15. Posted 12 December 2011 at 6:40 pm | Permalink

    How do you get four elephants in a mini? Two in the front, two in the back.
    How do you get four giraffes in a mini? You can’t there are four elephants in there.

  16. Posted 12 December 2011 at 9:10 pm | Permalink

    What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
    A Christmas Quacker!

  17. Posted 12 December 2011 at 9:48 pm | Permalink

    What do you call a fairy who hasn’t had a bath?


  18. Posted 12 December 2011 at 9:55 pm | Permalink

    my best christmas cracker joke has been around for years

    Q. what do you call a short sighted dinosaur
    A. a do-you-think-he-saw-us

    or this one which I had at my christmas do

    Q. What do you call an underground train full of professors?
    A. A tube of smarties.

    or the joke my three year old came out with after school one day

    Knock Knock
    Whos there
    Doggy who
    Doggy Doo Doo

    (ok thats not funny but I wish I had videod her laughing hysterically at it because that was so funny I had tears streaming down my face)

  19. Posted 12 December 2011 at 10:05 pm | Permalink

    I was gutted I couldn’t make it.


    Why is it so difficult to train dogs to dance?

    They’ve got two left feet


    Which side of a chicken has the most feathers?

    The outside

    Hahahaha etc.

  20. Posted 12 December 2011 at 11:28 pm | Permalink

    Some cheeky crackers from a few years back before the little man arrived…….

    What’s the last thing to go through a fly’s mind when it hits your car windscreen.

    It’s backside.

  21. Posted 12 December 2011 at 11:53 pm | Permalink

    My favourite is:

    Q/ What do you get when you cross a tiger with a snowman?
    A/ Frostbite

    Groan :)

  22. Posted 13 December 2011 at 1:06 pm | Permalink

    It was a fantastic weekend indeed! Lovely to meet so many bloggers!

    My favorite joke is:

    What comes at the end of Christmas Day?
    The letter “Y”!


  23. Posted 13 December 2011 at 6:59 pm | Permalink

    looks like everyone had so much fun :)
    as for jokes.. errmmmmm…

    whats orange and sound sliek a parrot?

    a carrot!!

  24. Lucy Richards
    Posted 13 December 2011 at 8:57 pm | Permalink

    My favourire all time one has to be…

    What’s brown and sweet and glides around an ice rink?

    Bourneville and Dean.


  25. Posted 13 December 2011 at 9:47 pm | Permalink

    What’s ET short for?

    He’s only got little legs.

    *boom boom*

  26. Posted 13 December 2011 at 9:50 pm | Permalink

    What do you do when your nose goes on strike?


  27. Posted 14 December 2011 at 9:53 pm | Permalink

    Did you hear about the stupid woodworm?

    They found him in a brick

  28. Posted 15 December 2011 at 11:38 am | Permalink

    Looks like you all had a great time.

    My joke is, two snowmen in a field. One turns and says to the other, do you smell carrots?

    I know it’s bad :)

  29. Posted 15 December 2011 at 8:19 pm | Permalink

    I’ll NEVER forget the year we had this in our cracker:

    Q How do you make a snooker table laugh?

    A Put your hand in its pocket and tickle its balls!!

    My Nan (God rest her soul) wet herself in indignation!!!

  30. Posted 16 December 2011 at 11:08 am | Permalink

    Q – What do you call a reindeer with no eyes?
    A – I have no eye deer

    I know, I know its just so bad but I laugh every time someone gets that in their cracker, Hahaha!

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